A couple of weeks ago in the previous podcast I mentioned I was going tenpin bowling. It’s an activity I enjoy, partly because it features heavily in one of Richard Brautigan’s novels, ‘Willard and his Bowling Trophies’; Brautigan being the author of ‘Sombrero Fallout’, as you may recall. I can’t recommend either book more highly.
Bowling is not something I can recall doing for possibly 25 years, now I come to think of it. But a friend of ours in Book Club, Ollie, has friends who’ve opened up The Keys in Preston, north Melbourne (yes, the suburb analysed in Courtney Barnett’s ‘Depreston’; it’s actually fine). Every year – OK, this is the second year we’ve done it – we have a Partners Event. So, this is where we chose for this year.
I’d driven to the venue, quietly confident, as I secretly “have tickets on myself”, as Aussies like to say, about my bowling abilities. I did, as it turned out, bowl abysmally. By the end, my friends were making mildly encouraging noises if I managed a 7.
There were nine of us there and at the end we asked the guy in the next lane if he’d take a photo of us. Which he did, and, unusually for these occasions, it captures everyone well. We wandered outside. There was some chat about holiday arrangements, work contracts, the date for the next meeting to discuss this month’s book. One of us was thinking of a change of career. Someone else’s brother-in-law was moving house. My wife had a chat with Gab, the wife of our founder, about children’s literacy, a shared passion.
There was a lot of laughter, but not the brittle or stagey kind. Just old friends catching up.
Two days later my wife and I were driving when a call came from one of our members who suggested we brace ourselves. Gab had had a stroke in the bookshop where she worked and was in a coma in ICU. We didn’t say much over our cup of coffee after that. Just processing.
By the next weekend, Gab had left us.
She was a remarkable woman. An award-winning novelist and a mother to three wonderful children. I’d been interviewed by one of them about this podcast quite recently for a project he’s doing. Andrew and she were the most loving 25-year-married couple that any of us knew. Karate, the crossword or walks with the dog, they really did everything together.
The funeral was overwhelming, emotionally. How could it not be? The church was standing room only. But five of us from our Music Club, of which Andrew is also a member, caught up last night and it was good to have the space to reflect with him and eat pizza. Drink wine and start to tentatively laugh a little.
Well, coincidentally, I was going to do a podcast about friendship for this edition anyway. But sometimes art and life collide. None of us get out of here alive, but it’s OK to feel sad and pay our tributes to those moving on, as we all will one day. When someone blithely recommends living each day as if it were your last, and talk turns to the content of that day, don’t forget a quiet afternoon catching up with friends is as good an answer as any.
This podcast is for Gab.
Setlist:
Sunspots, Julian Cope
Happy new year, Let’s Eat Grandma
History lesson Part 2, The Minutemen
Can’t stand me now, The Libertines
Twin layers of lightning, The Go-Betweens
Rebel girl, Bikini Kill
Smith & Jones forever, The Silver Jews
Friends of mine, The Zombies
These are your friends, Adem
Eleven weeks, Vansire
My drug buddy, The Lemonheads
Friends, The Wannadies
You should always keep in touch with your friends, The Wedding Present
All the bands my mates can’t stand, Pete Drake
History lesson Part 2, Horsegirl